I am a self professed but totally credible and proven selfie-incompetent. Selfies, i just dont do it, much if at all.
Am I not vain enough? Do I have an issue with my self esteem? No and no.
Let us be honest. We are all, most of us a little vain, if not a lot. But is slight vanity a condition that forces you to take a selfie. In my case, no.
I really dont have any issues with people who do though. I mean sometimes in capturing a particular memory or moment I do self press the shutter to capture a group picture of me and the beans or with Hubby (but then if it involves more than just your face in the shot, it is not technically a ‘self’ie isnt it), but then I really just dont take them much. At all. Especially not solo.
My incompetence is not about taking selfies but not uploading them on social networks. It encompasses a deeper root of simply not taking any at all. In fact if anyone were to go through my photos is my phone, (new phone by the way) they can find NOT ONE solo selfie pictures of your truly. And even if you were to pool all those in my memory card from previous phones and have them all combined, you will find it a daunting task to find a selfie of me in the pile. You may succeed, but it will be very little (and I have more than 10,000 pictures available). Perhaps that is one good reason others do it. I know that is what one of my friends had to say on her selfie pro skills – that if she doesnt do selfies, she will not have pictures of herself for memory. She is right. I have tons of pictures of my babies and a few of the hubby, but none of my own. But does it bother me.
That’s the thing it doesnt.
I remember the last time I took a selfie, (which technically wasnt really one as it was of me and my eldest son in my car) i was pratically forced to do it because I was invited into an alumni reunion administrative group that required the latest picture of its members for re-introduction purposes. After my failed attempt at evading the deed and becoming the only member excused from it, I conceded for the sake of not being a total spoil-sport because by then people were starting to talk about fairness and also of puposely being elusive. But it was a dreadful feeling after when it was sent out. Not because of people seeing me. But of me taking a picture of my own to show people. I realized I should have asked someone else to take a picture of me instead and post it. Maybe then I wouldn’t have felt so grossed out by it. I felt like really conceited for an act that I was coerced into doing and promptly told the group that that will be my first and last picture of myself that I will post and never to ask for one anymore.
But here’s another thing. I really dont mind posing for the camera. In fact I love posing for the camera. If people were to take my picture, i would pose for them. If people were to put a group picture on FB of which I was a part of or if I were to put my picture that someone else took of me with a group of others, or my family or my kids on FB, I am okay with it. If people were to take a picture of me alone and then put it on FB I also wont tell them to take it off the net, but I wont comment much or press like. More importantly, i will not be the one doing the deed of taking a solo picture of myself and putting it up for the virtual social world to see nor will be very comfortable putting pictures of me alone on FB even if it was taken by others. So the rule is, group photos of me is fine. Solo pictures of me taken by others, uncomfortable, but not a total taboo as some really are good memories like my childhood or wedding images. But solo pictures I take myself, of daily moments of ooh-i-think-i-look-cute-right-now pictures put out by myself on FB, NEVER.
Because, I will judge myself. I will feel disgusted by my own conceit or narcissism. We will only put up pictures of ourselves if we look good in it wont we? How many would put up ugly pictures of themselves. And for that reason alone, I feel if I were to take a picture of myself alone at a time I thought I look great and broadcast it on my social network page, (assuming I feel i look great in it) just to garner praises, I will cringe endlessly over it.
My husband will be most happy with this – mostly because he really hates the idea of me flaunting my (so-called) beauty (*yes you may gag) in the virtual social network (that rightfully should be reserved only for him), especially where anything and everything can be exploited, but also because he thinks the same way I do about selfie-self-conceit. He doesn’t do it either, though that is not so much an anomaly for guys. So my reaction to ooh-i-kinda-look-cute-right-now-moments; instead of taking a picture for my own keeping or for my husband, i go straight in front of him and flaunt it – fishing for a compliment. If I dont get the compliments though, I would still be fine because my husband’s praises of external beauty dont come cheap or easy, and not with emphasized importance over the substance of character. But what if he wasnt around when you have those i-am-cute-right-now moments, you might ask? Then he will have to pass up on it. I will still not take a selfie. And when flaunting and fishing for compliments from the Hubby – I would ask for it if I want it bad enough but other times, if they are not forthcoming, I will just flutter my lashes and sashay away because I know even if he doesnt say it then, there will be times when I thought I look less than appealing in a more i-look-like-crap moments of our everyday life, that he will look at me a certain way that lets me know how amused he is and then tells me how beautiful or adorable I am. That is more special, when the compliments are unexpected at moments you feel less-stellar to receive any and then you get them because what he sees in you is not wholly what is just physically meeting his eyes.
Okay enough of my sappy stories of my significant other. I am getting just as pukey over it as the idea of my selfie-ing for FB. haha..
Anyway, there is a recent report of selfie-addicted people being mentally inadequate. I guess you would imagine I would be one of those who would massage my chest thinking “Thank God I am not one of them”. Well i dont do that, because on the other hand, well, some might argue, for those in the other extreme like me, the selfie-repulsed – we could also be you know slightly mentally challenged. But who cares. whatever reports may come, people will still take selfies, or not take any, all at their own will. So really, what good will that kinds of reports do.
But seriosuly though, I really dont have a self esteem issue. If someday I run a business that requires me to sell my image as part of a commodity, maybe there will be more solo pictures of me. Maybe. But i doubt the selfie-allergics of self-directed-smartphone-solo-shot-of-random-daily-i-look-cute-right-now-moments will change much.
But that is just me judging me. I dont judge anyone else the same way. So please dont feel the need to stop selfie-ing just because I say I dont. I won’t judge you. Never have, never will. *winks