There’s nothing more irritating than having the creative juices for an article seeping through your brains and itching for a worded outlet and then finding you have neither the time nor the convenience of tools to write (or more correctly type) it out. Many a creative juice of mine have been wasted like this.
The reason its frustrating so much is because it is a pleasure – reading and writing for leisure is my pleasure. I just mostly dont have the time for it. Pity.
Now that I do have some time, I dont have the juices flowing. Ironic isnt it?
I’ll just talk about my boring life then – or atleast the thoughts I have about life in general.
1) I contemplated commenting about a certain person who peeves me to no end – we neither know each other but having to read about him and his immature drama display daily is pinching at my patience. But then again, i remembered a resolution of mine this year. In moments of annoyance and irritation, instead or raving madness and ill thoughts about the subject of my aversion, pray instead for his well being. He is after all a young soul, in need of much guidance. Therefore, I pray to Allah that this said person is given sound judgement, that God gives him the gift of patience and put out the fire of anger that he feels so driven with he had to create not just chaos within himself but with people around him as well, and to an extent plague the nation with another negativity. I pray that his future will be spared from anymore regrets of any of his unwise actions in the present and that he will ultimately become a person who builds the nation with positivity instead of tearing it down with negativity. I pray to Allah he is given inner peace and that whatever hardships and unfairness he feels he’s had going in life, that Allah give him strength to endure it and a sense of gratitude to remember his blessings. Ameen..
2) In the midst of planning to shift into our new place, I have yet to pack our worldly belongings. Just thinking about it makes me feel agitated. Tedious. Cringey. Mostly cause between work, familial obligations and house chores, i hardly have time to pack. I dont even know where to start. The fact that I hate packing and unpacking so much that even the idea of having to pack a single luggage for a trip fills me with trepidation; imagine how I feel now, having to pack the whole house (and in the process hoping to get rid of most of it). Utter dread i tell you. In the end, I will be forced to do it anyhow..
3) Getting and moving into a new house is very much a hassle. I never knew it. I must have carelessly taken for granted previous experiences when i was still living with my parents. My mum must’ve been stressed. I now know what it feels like. So many things to think about, to look and shop for, to pay for, to plan, to pack, to mull over, to decide, to monitor – oh well you get the drift. Its an endless list. My hubby’s stressing over the renovation works and the fact that the grille people have been delaying installation for weeks now is starting to peeve him. The defect repairer guy is going MIA he’s starting to get on our nerves (that’s it, the developer will have to chase him for us). Plus, on top of all the planning, shopping, considering and deciding, all our savings are going into preparing the new house, and to be honest its not enough. We’ve had to prioritize the necessities over the luxuries. Oh many a luxury we’ll have to go without. But look at it from the bright side. The fact that we have a house of our own, and the God-given fortune to even renovate it a little is in comparison utterly blessed compared to most people in the world. I was just reading through an article of people in Kabul Afghanistan whose kids have frozen to death from the cold because the tents which to them are their houses in essence are so deficient, they couldn’t even protect themselves from the cold. It broke my heart. That’s it, no more complaining Aimy Fatin. Alhamdulillah.. that’s all I should remember to say.
4) We’ve found a new baby sitter for Adam. First impressions do count. The lady is as lovely as Adam’s previous and current baby sitter. Her house, despite sheltering close to 10 individuals (she’s got 7 kids) is spic-and-span. Orderly, clean and cozy, inside and outside. She’s a former smart-reader teacher. SHe’s got the tools for teaching, the fancy smart reader oriented puzzles, and flash cards paraphernalia. I was impressed, the first time we sent Adam for play trial he was already shown the flash cards to soothe him from his trepidation at being left and soon got distracted. Her children are disciplined too; the first time we met up for a chat; i found the house awfully quiet for a household of 7 children so i asked where were her kids. She said, after the Maghrib prayers, their schedule is to complete their homeworks and study until a certain time before they can come out for leisure activities like TV and toys (and that’s a day before the weekends). She’s got the kind of demeanor that just soothes you when talking to her. After a few play trial visits, Adam seems pretty much settled in. Ah.. my worries are no more. Clearly Allah has given me much mercy in this. Alhamdulilah…
I’d complain some more, but i guess at this point, I’ll just settle with gratitude instead. In retrospect, for every hardship, If i take time to stop and ponder for a bit, find there are 10 more privileges that accompany in compensation – privileges that if I focus too much on the one hardship will tend to forget. I just have to remember to “stop and ponder” more. I remember a surah in juz ‘amma.
“ Fa-Innama’al usri yusra. Innama’al usri yusra” meaning
“So, verily, with every difficulty, there is relief. Verily, with every difficulty, there is relief.”
I trust that for every difficulty God thrust us with, there’s a solution that will lessen our hardships. We just have to be patient, InsyaAllah, God will show us the way. In my life, I have known this – that countless reprieves have presented themselves from sources I did not even expect to offer me the reprieve. All things are Allah’s doing.
I hope everyone will find a relief to their every difficulty too. Do not lose hope, turn to God for assistance and trust with all your heart, God will help you with it, eventually.
Enough preaching. I know, I probably sound more holier-than-thou. Well I’m not, I’m a struggling human everyday weighing on doing between the rights-and-wrongs. I don’t always succeed, but I try. I hope I’ve become better each day. And yes, i hope you have too. Have a great day people. Much love.